Super Villains Week: The Sour Puss

So here's another super villain you may encounter during your work life: The Sour Puss.

I like to think that at our colleges and universities, people generally are more pleasant to work with than in the rest of the world. Maybe I'm just lucky at my location ...

But you do occasionally run into the Sour Puss. With the Sour Puss, it doesn't matter if you just produced a piece for them in record time at virtually 50 percent of the estimated cost. The Sour Puss will constantly look angry.

It's as if no joy exists in their lives. I like to imagine the Sour Puss with this same horrible pose on their face at Disneyland, their birthday, birth of their first child, etc. You know the look I'm talking about:


Ugh, nothing can be so demoralizing as working with the Sour Puss. You have no idea if you're doing an outstanding job or the worst you've ever done. It's all the same to the Sour Puss. Plus, you go into every face-t0-face meeting with the Sour Puss feeling really defensive. It's hard not to feel your every move is judged with such a frown constantly cast your way.

I've worked with a few Sour Pusses, and here are some of the best strategies I know to deal with them:

• Get confirmation it's not just you — Bring a coworker along or talk to people who've worked with the Sour Puss in the past to see if everyone else gets that same impression. You can do this in a careful, tactful way without sounding like you're trying to stir up gossip. Try something like, "The project with Sue seems to be going very well, but I'm not getting any positive feedback. Did you feel the same when you worked with her last year?"
  
• Ask for feedback — Some times, what we think we look like and the impression we actually give to others are two very different things. How many times have you seen a photo of yourself and gone, "Wow, I look nothing like that?" or "I didn't think I looked that bad!" Maybe the Sour Puss just does not realize the impression he/she is giving off. When you're working with the Sour Puss, try having an honest conversation: "Are you happy with the project so far?" "Is this moving along according to your time line?" "Is there anything else I could be doing better?" The Sour Puss may open up and let you know that, actually, you're doing just fine.
• Clear the air — If the Sour Puss is really, in fact, angry at you for something in the past or a current project, talk it out. My coworker had a great strategy: after a particular project went very, very badly, she took the client out to lunch to a neutral territory to talk about what went wrong and how to do things better next time. They both came away from the meeting feeling more comfortable with each other because a lot of the "unspoken" things had been said.
• Be enthusiastic and happy — It's hard to be around someone who is overjoyed (engagement, new job, pregnancy) and not come down with the happiness fever! This sounds corny, but try to bring some happiness into the meetings with the Sour Puss, without overdoing it. Be enthusiastic about the work ("I am so excited you came to me about your Web site. I would love to help") and give them a good frame of reference for positive news ("This is fantastic. This brochure estimate came back in at $500; normally, I see prices three times that amount.")
• If all else fails, grin and bear it — If you've tried everything and nothing works, just get through it. Realize it's not you, it's them. Besides, you have bigger and better fish to fry than worrying about what they think. Remember: no one can go through life with everyone loving them all the time. We're bound to rub a few the wrong way :)